Grammar-Quizzes › More Practices › Writing Aids › Commonly Confused › Ashamed vs. Embarrassed

Ashamed vs. Embarrassed

Is it a moral or a social error?

Moral vs. Social Breach

ASHAMED
When ashamed, we feel bad because of moral wrong-doing. This occurs when we lie, cheat, steal, and so on. The shame may be known to others or it may be privately experienced by oneself. The person may feel sad, unworthy, or disgraced. The harm to one's dignity and honor depends on how serious (bad) the act was. Breaking a moral code is more serious than breaking a social code (etiquette).
MORAL WRONG-DOING
He was ashamed of himself for lying. (modifier + of)
He was ashamed of his lies.
He was ashamed that he had lied. (modifier + that clause)

EMBARRASSED
When embarrassed, one feels self-conscious, intense discomfort with oneself in front of others. This occurs when doing something socially unacceptable or having a personal condition revealed (exposed) to others. The person may blush, sweat, or feel anxiety as a reaction. One feels the loss of dignity. The harm, breaking a social code, is usually temporary and minor.
SOCIAL ERROR OR EXPOSURE
She was embarrassed by them. (other people) She was embarrassed by *herself. (not self)
She was embarrassed by the lie. / their lies.
She was embarrassed that she had forgotten her wallet. (modifier + that)

ashamed (Adj) — synonym – feel disgrace; antonym – feel self-respect, proud
dignity (N) — your sense of your own value or importance
disgrace (N) – the loss of other people's respect
embarrassed (Adj) – synonym– feel awkward about ; antonym – feel confident about
exposure (N) - the disclosing or revealing of something private or secret
respect (V) — regard highly or favorably; admire, value, or honor someone

*Yellow highlighted words are examples of incorrect usage.

Sentence Context

Grammatical Use

MORAL WRONG-DOING
Ashamed has word forms with and without the initial a-: shame, shaming (N); shame (V); ashamed (past participle modifier) shameful (Adj) shameless (Adj); shamefully (adv.)
NOUN
It was a shame that she had lied. ("It's a shame that…")
His shame was hard to bear. (a more harmful error) His public shaming was hard to bear.
He brought shame on himself. ("bring shame on someone")
He brought shame to his community. ("bring shame to someplace")
VERB
He shamed easily. (not intransitive)
He shamed himself. (uncommonly reflexive.)
His father shamed him for his lying. (transitive)
He was shamed by his father. (passive)
His cowardice shamed him.
*His bad table manners shamed her. (It is unlikely that someone else's actions would cause her moral shame.)
PARTICIPLE MODIFIER – EXPERIENCER
*She was ashamed that she had lied. She was ashamed to have lied.
*He was ashamed that he had stolen money. ¹He was ashamed to have stolen money.
He was ashamed to tell everyone the truth. He was too ashamed to tell everyone the truth.
ADJECTIVE MODIFIER
His lying was shameful. (the action is shameful) His lying was ashaming / shaming.
The waste of money was shameful.
He was a shameful lier. (lied regardless of feeling shame)
He was a shameless lier. (not having any sense of shame)
ADVERB
She lied shamefully. (in a manner of shame)
?He ashamedly confessed to having lied.
He shamefully confessed to having lied.

SOCIAL ERROR OR EXPOSURE
embarrassment (N); embarrass (V); embarrassing (present participle modifier), embarrassed (past participle modifier) embarrassingly (adv. of degree); embarrassedly (adv. of manner)
NOUN
It was an embarrassment that she had lied.
His embarrassment was intense. (a less harmful error)


VERB
He embarrasses easily. (intransitive)
He embarrassed himself. (can be reflexive.)
His brother embarrassed him by telling his secrets. (transitive)
He was embarrassed by his own awkwardness. (passive)
His awkwardness embarrassed him.
His bad table manners embarrassed her. (She is uncomfortable because his behavior reflects badly on her.)
PARTICIPLE MODIFIER – EXPERIENCER
She was embarrassed that she had forgotten her wallet.
He was embarrassed that he had forgotten to zip his pants.
He was embarrassed to speak in public. He was too embarrassed to speak in public.
PARTICIPLE MODIFIER – CAUSE / SOURCE
His lying was embarrassing. (his action caused embarrassment to others)
He told embarrassing lies. (his action affected other people but not him.)
Forgetting her wallet was embarrassing. (the action caused the feeling.)

ADVERB
?He spoke embarrassingly. (in a way that affected other people?)
He embarrassedly whispered an apology. (in an embarrassed manner )
His joke was embarrassingly bad. (to an embarrassing degree)
Her pants were embarrassingly tight. (to an embarrassing degree)

*not used; ?questionable usage– Fowler includes these adverb forms as recent language additions (238)
¹ Infinitive clauses are used after verbs expressing emotional reaction. (Ashamed is a more serious state.): He was surprised to find, he was embarrassed to learn: see Adj+Infin.

Related page Participle Modifiers 1 -ed/ -ing; Transitive / Intransitive; Reflexive Pronouns (and verbs)

Shame / Embarrass

Expressions

SHAME
Expressions with shame are mostly those assigning the "label of shame" or "pointing the finger of blame".
She played so well she put everyone else to shame. (out do)
He shamed her into going. (forced or drove through shame)
For shame! (you should feel ashamed)
She was overcome with shame. (suffer deep loss of dignity)
It's a shame you couldn't come. "It's too bad"
What a shame that you couldn't come. (a mild reproach, "too bad")

EMBARRASS
Expressions with embarrass are mostly descriptive with the modifier word forms: embarrassed and embarrassing.
His digestion was embarrassed by overeating. (hindered, slowed down, impede)
The incident was embarrassing for the university. (affects an institution)
The incident was deeply/ profoundly embarrassing (common wording)
Her pants were embarrassingly tight / out-of-date. (very)
It's embarrassing to forget my lines.
She was embarrassed with a child. (incorrect translation from Spanish)

Common Mistakes

Focus and Solutions

Error and Solution

FOCUS
She was embarrassed herself.
?He shamed easily.
*She was embarrassed with a child. (incorrect translation from Spanish)

SOLUTION
She embarrassed herself by saying things she shouldn't. (a social error) She was embarrassed by someone / something. She felt embarrassed embarrassed. She couldn't help feeling embarrassed / shy.
He was sensitive to shaming / being shamed. (?)
She was with child. (formal) She was expecting a child. She was pregnant.

SOLUTION

She embarrassed herself by saying things she shouldn't. (a social error)

She was embarrassed by someone / something.

She felt embarrassed embarrassed.

She couldn't help feeling embarrassed / shy.

He was sensitive to shaming / being shamed. (?)

She was with child. (formal)

She was expecting a child.

She was pregnant.

*Yellow highlighted words are examples of incorrect usage.

(Burchfield "embarrassedly, ashamedly" 238)

Works Cited

"ashamed." Dictionary.com Unabridged. Random House, Inc., www.dictionary.reference.com/browse/ashamed. Accessed on 26 Aug. 2016.
"-edly." Fowler's Modern English Usage. Edited by R. W. Burchfield and H. W. Fowler, revised 3rd ed., Oxford UP, 2004.
"embarrass." Dictionary.com Unabridged. Random House, Inc., www.dictionary.com/browse/embarrass. Accessed on 26 Aug. 2016.
"Embarrassment." Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia, 11 Jul. 2016, en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Embarrassment. Accessed on 26 Aug. 2016.
"shame." Dictionary.com Unabridged. Random House, Inc.,www.dictionary.com/browse/shame. Accessed on 26 Aug. 2016.
"Shame." Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia, 11 Jul. 2016, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shame. Accessed on 26 Aug. 2016.

Practice 1

Elementary School Anxiety

Ashamed or Embarrassed?

Select the response from the list that best completes the sentence.
Compare your response to the feedback by clicking the "Check" or "Check 1-10" button.

Once… is how we begin a story about a past event. ("one time")

Once I forgot my lunch and was too to tell my teacher, so I went hungry and hid on the playground during lunch.

Feedback 1

Once I threw a ball and some girls' feet. One fell down and hurt her knee. I felt about what I had done.

Feedback 2

Once I told my teacher that my father was the president of his company. I lied to make myself feel more important. I was a lier.

Feedback 3

Once some friends and I were bored, so we threw rocks at a fence. One accidentally, went through the fence and hit a bus passing on the road below. When the principal called us to his office, we confessed to the deed. (We said that we did it.)

Feedback 4

Once when I was rushing into the restroom, I looked at saw that it was the wrong one. It was the girls bathroom! I was so .

Feedback 5

Once when Jane was hanging up-side-down on the "monkey bars", her shirt fell down over her face. It was for her.

Feedback 6

Once when my friend Justin called me a name, I hit him in the stomach. The principal sent me home. My behavior was .

Feedback 7

That I had been fighting in school was for my parents.

Feedback 8

Later, when I kind of liked a girl, I chose her to be on my team first. Everyone hooted and laughed. I turned red and felt .

Feedback 9

10.

Another time, a girl told me that she wanted to marry me. That was I'm only ten!

Feedback 10

Practice 3

"Poem Day"

Read for Errors

Each year in our school, we had "Poem Day" when we had to select and recite a poem in front of the other students in our class. One day, I arrived to find that it was "Poem Day". I had embarrassment because I had forgotten to do the assignment. I felt shamefully because I knew that it was my responsibility to remember my homework. As the teacher called students' names, I hid embarrassingly behind the other students. I tried to make myself as small as possible.

When recess came, I ran down to the school library to find a book of poems quickly. Fortunately, the librarian was in the library and was able to help me. I shamed to tell her that I had forgotten to do my homework assignment. She helped me find a book. I opened the book to the shortest poem that I could find and began to memorize it. When the bell rang and recess was over, I walked back into class with my poem in mind and sat down confidently.

In a short while, the teacher called my name, and I stood up. Everyone was looking at me.

My poem is by Shel Silverstein. "Lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy Jane. She wants a drink of water so she waits and waits and waits and waits for it to rain." Jane waiting with her mouth open for the rain

The room was silent. "Is that it?" my teacher asked. "Yes," I answered. Everyone laughed, and I felt completely embarrassing. From then on, everyone jokingly called me "Lazy Jane".

assignment (N) — a piece of work that is given to someone as part of a lesson (or job)

librarian (n) — person who helps people find books in the library

memorize (V) — remember something so that one can say it without looking at the book

poem (N) — a piece of writing that expresses emotions, experiences, and ideas, especially in short lines using words that often rhyme (end with the same sound).

recess (N) — a 15 minute break (play time)

recite (V) — say from memory (not reading it off paper)

Edit for Errors

Edit the sentence(s) in the text box.
Compare your response to the feedback by clicking the "Check" button.

21.

I had embarrassment because I had forgotten to do the assignment.

Edit 21

Feedback 21

22.

I felt shamefully because I knew that it was my responsibility to remember my homework.

Edit 22

Feedback 22

23.

As the teacher called students' names, I hid embarrassingly behind the other students.

Edit 23

Feedback 23

24.

Fortunately, the librarian was in the library and was able to help me. I shamed to tell her that I had forgotten to do my homework assignment. She helped me find a book.

Edit 24

Feedback 24

25.

The room was silent. "Is that it?" my teacher asked. "Yes," I answered. Everyone laughed and I felt completely embarrassing.

Edit 25

Feedback 25